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Michael: Well, now it's my nausea.
Michael: [to George Michael] I want you to take the rest of the day off. Here's 20 bucks, buy something you don't need, be a kid, make mistakes, get in trouble.
Buster: Yes, make a mistake. Take 225 from me.
Narrator: Buster had brought home a turtle in an incredibly misguided attempt to distance himself from his mother.
Buster: You can stay in this box of grass that Uncle Father Oscar left behind.
Narrator: Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed.
Michael: Can't a guy call his mother pretty without making it seem strange?
Buster: Yeah, and how about that little tail on her? Cute!
Michael: I've opened a door here that I regret.
Lucille Bluth: [after dropping some food] Where's my maid? ROBOT!
Narrator: But the robot had other plans.
Byron "Buster" Bluth: [Lucille walks into Buster's room to find him sleeping with the robot vacuum cleaner] What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'M A MONSTER!
Lucille: [catching Lucille and Buster in bed together] And yet you're too good to polish the candlesticks? You're fired!
Buster: You cant fire me! I'm your son! I'm firing you!
Lucille: I was firing Lupe!
Buster: Oh, that makes more sense.
Michael: Well, um, I was going to say that you don't know who my father really is and that what has happened to us is a great injustice, that we were never really given a fair chance. But that's not the truth. We've been given plenty of chances. And maybe the Bluths just aren't worth saving, maybe we're not that likable, you know. We're very self-centered. And my father may be the worst of us. Me, too. You know, I seem to... I threaten people who I don't feel support me. He poisons them. Anyway, here's my advice to you. Go ahead and take yourself a goody bag and get out of here while you can.
[Lucille applauds]
Narrator: The speech was disturbing. The food inedible. And the gift bags, well, pretty frightening. And when GOB found out he wasn't going to get tipped...
Gob: Wait! No, no, where's everyone going!
Narrator: The service got worse.
Gob: Where's my money? I'll follow you to your cars!
Byron "Buster" Bluth: My thumb!
Narrator: Oh and that old racist woman choked on Buster's thumb. All in all, it was one of the Bluth's better parties.
Buster: Hey, possible nephew.
[after being put in charge, Buster passes out at his first board meeting]
Lucille Bluth: We need Michael.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth: [holding a glass] We need ice.
[two paramedics pick up a stretcher with Buster on it]
Byron "Buster" Bluth: Michael. We need Michael.
Buster: [on the phone after Lucille threatens to cut his cord] They're trying to kill Baby Buster! Oh that's right, from the videos!
Buster: Hey, I just came to tell you that I can't do that wall.
Drill Instructor: There's no time for that! We're shipping out without you! Haven't you heard?
[hands Buster military files]
Buster: Weapons of Mass Destruction?
Gob: Those bastards!
Drill Instructor: I did not say that!
Gob: Are you going to allow that, Buster? Are you going to allow your children, and your children's children, and any children that I might have out there to live in fear for the rest of their lives?
[advances to the wall]
Gob: Climb that wall, homo!
Drill Instructor: Go get 'em!
Narrator: [as Buster climbs the wall] Buster got the encouragement he needed, and just when it seemed there wouldn't be any surprises...
[Gob punches Buster as he jumps to the other side]
Narrator: ... it did.
Gob: Now, when you do this without getting punched, you'll have more fun.
George Michael Bluth: You know, I have a job.
Tobias Fünke: [coughing] Kiss ass... well we were all thinking it.
Buster: Uh, I'm unclear about what it is exactly you do...
Jessie Bowers: Excellent question, what a publicist does is...
Buster: No, no, no I was talking to George Michael. When did you get a job?
George Michael Bluth: At the banana stand.
Buster: Oh! Duh! I thought you meant like a plumber or something and I was like 'when did that happen?'
Lucille: They're not gonna let you in at the country club with that.
Buster: [as Franklin, the puppet] I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch!
Buster: Hey, fake Uncle Jack.
[Buster gets a hook to replace the hand he lost]
Buster: Hey, Uncle.
[Buster gives Oscar a shoulder rub and repeatedly jabs him with the hook]
Oscar: Ow! Ah! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! You've got my tendon caught on your claw!
Buster: My claw?
[Buster stares at his hook in sheer terror as Psycho-type music plays]
Buster: I'm a MONSTER!
Buster: [Tobias hands Buster his business card] Ahhhh!
Tobias Fünke: Oh, it's pronounced "Analrapist".
Buster: It wasn't the pronunciation that bothered me.
Buster: I decided to sleep in the car so my snoring wouldn't bother you, and I left a tape recording of my snoring so you wouldn't know I was gone.
Buster: [while performing the "Sword of Destiny" trick] Will you hand me the trick sword, please?
Gob: It's a real sword!
Buster: [while Lindsay and Tobias are having a heated argument] WELL JUST FAKE IT!
[he falls back asleep]
Buster: COMA...
Narrator: Believe it or not, that actually got through to them.
Buster: Now please turn on the cartoon network and get the hell out of here!